June newsletter: Healing the eldest daughter’s curse
Word count: zero and a perimenopausal pivot.
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Dear Lovely Wildheart! How are you?
Quick housekeeping announcement before we wrap up the boiling hot month of June. All my posts here on Substack that are older than 6 months have now been archived behind the paywall which is for members only.
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Writing Update: Zero Wordcount for June
I’ve not written any words for my new book. I could blame it on the fact that I’ve been studying for my counselling course. Find out why I decided to train as a Coach and not a Counsellor 👇 (click to read the whole note)
I could use the excuse that the end of term at college was ridiculously hectic with stressed students taking their GCSEs and final exams.
I could blame it on the perimenopause which is coming in strong. I could even blame it on this 👇
The truth is the non-fiction book I planned to starting writing back in May is not flowing. Every time I sit down to write it, I feel overwhelmed. I’ve journaled on it with my trusty tarot cards and come to the conclusion that it’s not the right time. I liked this advice from
:There’s also a few other reasons why:
I want to enjoy my writing and spend my free time working on creative projects that light me up and where my energy feels in flow. Writing Murder Most Mystic was pure joy and that’s obvious in the way that the joy is translating to you the reader. I love receiving your message and photos. Thank you!
There is a lot of hesitation and resistance around going back over my child coaching days which is what’s needed to write this non-fiction book. My child coaching role was born out of a trauma response to ‘fix’ my family’s generational trauma. Even though I’ve come a long way in my healing, the energy feels heavy. I’m also sitting in a similar survival energy most days at work, as a Learning Support Assistant. The education system is steeped in survival mode and if I don’t take care of myself, it’s like going into a burning building without protective clothing on. Secondary, (vicarious trauma) is a thing and leads to burn out.
At times, I’m aware that my inner child is triggered in the classroom. She wants to take charge. Hello, eldest daughter here. As if the failing education system is her responsibility!! Try telling her that. Being triggered means she wants to educate some of the teachers and rescue the students from the dysfunctional and broken system. Of course, this roughly translates to healing my parents so my inner child won’t be an orphan, and protecting and saving my siblings. Yikes!
I’m working on releasing this co-dependent pattern to show my nervous system that none of this is my responsibility. The world will not collapse if I let go. People will cope. I will not die if I choose myself, but the pattern needs to. I want to show my inner child that this is the truth for us. And show her I must because nervous systems do not understand words. They need to see changed patterns of behaviour.
I want my inner child to know that her needs and wants matter. I want her to know she is important. I want her to know that I am listening. I want her to bask in fun and joyful light-hearted creativity. She hasn’t fully lived like this before. It’s important to me that she knows this now.
This pattern is slowly breaking down. I know this because when I get triggered, I come back to myself quicker. At times it feels like the film groundhog day and I think: “FFS I’m back here again!” Anyway, I’ve decided to park the non-fiction book for now and carry on with the next book in my Dolly Sunflower Mysteries. Yaaay! See! That feels much lighter.
Since the Autumn of 2024, my life has changed so much and I’ve gotten better at trusting my intuition and winging it until I find my feet. When things get tricky, I just reassure myself: “In six months it will be different.” Because it will, and my nervous system knows this to be true. It has proof. In the last year, I’ve created a new pattern which has slowly moved me out of my comfort zone, instead of staying stuck waiting for others to change. It’s empowering, a little bit scary but truly liberating.
I may pick my non-fiction book idea up in the future. Who knows? Meanwhile I want to get back to my happy place over the summer and re-establish my writing routine.
🎁 Free Gifts for You
So you can experience Dolly and the quirky Poeshwick gang, here’s a free chapter of Murder Most Mystic.
»Download your free chapter HERE«
By the way, thanks for helping spread the word. I’ve sold 46 copies so far, and I couldn’t have done that without you! Murder Most Mystic is now available on Amazon in Kindle format and free for those of you with Kindle Unlimited.
What you might have missed from me
My healing toolkit for sensitive souls
Behind the scenes of my first cozy murder mystery
Stepping into self-worth. How to value yourself as a sensitive soul
Mastering energetic boundaries: a guide for empaths and highly sensitive souls
End of Term Review as a Learning Support Assistant
Some of the above is for paid subscribers. If you’d like to support my writing, you can upgrade your subscription for £5 a month or £40 for a whole year, by signing up here https://lisaparkes.substack.com/subscribe
*You have to be on a computer to upgrade your membership. You cannot upgrade on a phone or tablet.
My diary is open this summer for coaching, inner child coaching & intuitive card reads.
Click on the pink button to get all the details.
"I didn’t think it was possible until now. I feel more connected with my inner child in this moment. I can’t remember how I found you, but glad I did. I'm surprised with the difference it's made. In the past, when I've had therapy before, I'm left feeling morose and lost with no idea what to do with all the feelings. I didn't know the emotional overwhelm was my inner child trying to get my attention. Now, I'm in a better place. More aware of my triggers and in touch with my feelings. I feel more in control now I understand what's happening, and how to process them. You're like an angel on my shoulder. Thank you!"
I love to see highly sensitive and neurodivergent souls move through stuckness or overwhelm to finally feeling confident about who they are, and creating a beautiful life on their terms. If that’s you, get in touch today.
Until next time, take care
Love
PS. If you enjoyed this post, please click on the heart at the bottom or the top of this email. It helps others discover The Intuitive Writer and makes me happy!
You always envoke new thoughts for me Lisa, I love it.
So honoured you included my note 🙏