The next generation's call for change
ADHD, attachment, anxiety, phone addiction, & connecting to dead relatives who are cheering me on from the other side.
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Hello to you lovely Wildheart. How’s things?
Before I begin with this month’s updates. Please can I sign post all the new readers HERE to discover your Journaling Archetype. And if we’ve not met before, I’d like to introduce myself.
Hello! I’m Lisa. I’m a Spiritual Detective & Mentor passionate about journaling. It’s one of the most powerful healing tools I’ve discovered (and believe me when I tell you I’ve left no stone unturned in this beautiful journey of self-discovery) whilst healing from childhood trauma. When I’m not teaching journaling, I support highly sensitive and neurodivergent students at my local college. I also make journals and write books. I’d love for you to experience the beauty and power of journaling too.
I started the monthly deeply saddened and hyper fixated on the death of ex-One Direction member, Liam Payne. I talked about this in last month’s members’ journal prompts. The question still remains “Where were his people?” That was my initial angry response to learning that he had died from being high and falling over a hotel balcony. I’m sure his people were all taking home huge salaries. So why was he locked in a hotel room alone after he was seen convulsing in the hotel lobby. Why did nobody call an ambulance?
It felt preventable to me. Maybe I’m wrong and I’m prepared to be, but how many people die needlessly because they aren’t getting the right kind of support for their mental health. This young man was allegedly diagnosed with ADHD which was very likely rooted in the trauma of being famous at the young and delicate age of sixteen.
Writing inspiration for November
I’m having a ball working at the college, and have decided to increase my hours from part-time to full-time. I sit in Engineering, Child Care, IT, Sports, Public Services, and English lessons, soaking it all in and helping the students regulate their nervous systems so they are ready to learn. I work with a wonderful team of professionals who are on the same page when it comes to being student-centred.
The other day in Child Care (this is by far my favourite subject - obvs), the students have been learning about attachment. I found myself getting teary watching Dr. Ed Tronick’s famous Still Face Experiment. If you didn’t feel seen for who you were growing up, you’ll get it.
Without human connection, people die.
One student asked, “Can people really die of heartbreak?” Yes, it’s true, and it feels as if the mainstream message is one which wants to numb us out and guide us away from ourselves and each other.
It’s heartbreaking that so many kids (and more recently, late diagnoses in adults) are being diagnosed with ADHD.
Why isn’t anybody investigating their attachment or formative years?
Slapping a label on a set of behaviour traits without exploring the bigger picture is dangerous. It’s repeatedly proven that behaviour is driven by feelings and our inner world.
I am strongly of the opinion that there are no naughty children, but children who are simply attempting to communicate.
Many children and young people are not in their bodies, not rooted in reality (present), or feeling securely attached to safe adults. I’m not blaming the adults either. Many adults have their own trauma to deal with but until we educate the world on trauma and its impact on our formative years and development, this cycle will keep repeating. Then to medicate without getting to the root cause is numbing those children out from their feelings and their bodies which is not healthy, nor is it how humans were designed to function and flourish in life.
Why are we so quick to medicate without exploring more deeply the inner worlds?
I’m sorry to say but the only person benefitting from this is big pharma. Who wants to be medicated for the rest of their life? Not me, but all the time we are not questioning this approach, or seeking alternative solutions, it will continue.
In my decade of working with children, young people and their families, I encouraged parents to explore their own childhoods and helped them understand their emotional selves. Trauma disconnects us from our emotions and this makes relationships tricky to say the least.
If we aren’t fully connected and present with ourselves, we cannot be that for other people.
We must also take into account that the next generation is being raised in a digital age where their attention is being harvested and fragmented on the daily. Surely ADHD could simply be a normal ‘flight’ trauma response to growing up in an abnormal environment. No?
It’s not an exaggeration to say that we’re all addicted to our phones, and more likely attached to them instead of one another. Or we are attached to one another in a fake, toxic online world. I’m still battling with that and hope to write more when I’ve got something meaningful and helpful to say.
“It is impossible to understand addiction without asking what relief the addict finds, or hopes to find, in the drug or the addictive behaviour.”
― Gabor Mate
The relief I get from my phone is to check out from myself. To tune out from my inner world which is often times overwhelmed and confused. This is a pattern from childhood which I’m still learning to heal. What about you? It takes real discipline to turn your phone off, or not carry it about with you in a world that constantly demands that you be online.
Every day, I sit in classes and observe the tug of war between teachers, who are fed up of repeatedly saying ‘Put your phone away please,’ and students, who are feeling visible anxious or angry when they aren’t with their phones.
Humans are designed to be attached to, and connect with one another, not mobile phones. Our brains are not designed to have fifty browsers open. The less present we are, the more anxious we get. That’s why I love dog sitting because all those walks in nature and all those cuddles on the sofa regulate my nervous system and keep me grounded in reality. It’s too easy for me to float off and check out. That was my favourite place to hang out when I was growing up.
This month, I had a psychic reading. It’s been a while. Now that I read my own tarot cards and my intuition is dialled up, I don’t have as many readings as I used to.
I’ve already started taking bookings for 2025 readings if you’re curious, and want to set goals for the new year. If you’d like me to read for you, click HERE.
Since last summer, I’d been patiently waiting to hear from my Auntie Gladys who crossed over the rainbow bridge after ninety-one years on this planet. That’s way beyond my intuitive inklings. So I booked a session with a psychic medium who sees and talk to dead people.
Even from the other side Auntie Gladys didn’t disappoint, finding little ways to let me know she was around me. From the butterfly I saw on the day of her funeral to the gladioli I bought for an alter I created because I wasn’t able to attend. She came through with lots of positive and encouraging messages, reassuring me not to worry that I hadn’t been in touch because she understood. She talked about my dream of living by the sea and said she knew exactly what I needed and would send it to me.
You can find out more about Gladys as she features in my new book, Murder Most Mystic which is due for release soon. I’m nearly there with the final proof read.
Did you catch the cover reveal?
Let me know what you think in the comments below 👇
»if you haven’t seen it, click HERE to find out more«
What’s new here
I recently wrote about how feedback from my editor sparked my latest post - a crisis of confidence. It was the perfect follow-up to 4 instant self esteem boosters for tricky days which many of you had already shown your appreciation for. I’m glad my words resonate and are helpful.
Sincerely, thank you for all your likes, comments and shares.
Recently, my lovely wildhearted members also enjoyed: The most important lesson for over givers where I ramble (talk into my phone) on my walk with Moe. He showed me where I was overstepping my own boundaries. Thanks Little One!
Here we are on a glorious sunny, frosty morning. It really is my happy place - so peaceful and beautiful.
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It’s silly season at the gift shop as everybody gets stressed about Christmas plans and gift lists for ONE day of the year. I’d hate to be Christmas, there’s so much pressure on it to be great. Particularly, if the year has been a tricky one which it has been for many of us navigating the post-COVID fall out. I do believe the tide is slowly turning. Thank goodness for our four-legged friends who come in for cuddles. This is me with the super chilled and adorable Twiglet who is just three months old. I could feel my body relax as I held her in my arms.
I hope you find a way to take some quiet moments for yourself amongst the madness. Feel free to share your thoughts and insights in the comments below. I’m always interested what you have to say.
Until next time, take care.
Love
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