I want to be a writer

It's never too late to follow your heart

Last December as I was approaching fifty, I signed up to

Beth Kempton

’s beautiful and thought provoking Winter Writing Sanctuary. My desire to be a writer, which had been bubbling away inside of me since I was a little girl, was about to burst.

The first writing prompt asked, ‘Why Do You Write?’

“I love to write. I want to bring others comfort and joy. I write the truth so that others may see themselves in my stories and feel less alone.

When I write, I can be myself unedited. I can say how I really feel. Sometimes I am surprised at what wants to come through on the page, but I know I am more confident and clearer about who I am, and what is right for me when I have a pen in my hand.”

Lisa Parkes

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At the beginning of the Winter Writing Sanctuary, my intention was to find freedom and flow in my writing so I could develop a stronger voice, and a regular writing practice. Oh yes, and I also wanted to finish the cosy murder mystery book that had been gathering dust on my laptop for the last two years.

Maybe along the way, I would meet like-minded and encouraging souls too. Ones whose love language was also words.

With one book already under my belt, I wasn’t going to let any more excuses get in the way. 2024 was the year that I would become a writer. It turns out that Beth’s Winter Writing Sanctuary was exactly the medicine I needed.

Beth’s calm, kind and warm nature embodied the word ‘sanctuary.’ Her catalysts for writing, or sparks as she calls them, were often beautiful poems or inspiring snippets from her own books.

This was a refreshing change from the oracle and tarot cards I use for my daily journaling practice. The symbolism and imagery of oracle and tarot cards have always spoken to me, and were the gateway to the voice of my higher self (my intuition). However, Beth’s sparks spoke to a different part of me. A braver part that had been patiently waiting to be known.

As Brene Brown would say, it was the Call to Courage.

And it changed everything.

This is the power of writing.

I thoroughly enjoyed learning with Beth in the Winter Writing Sanctuary, and when it was over, I had over ten thousand words down on paper, and some new poetry which took me by surprise.

What was it? Could it be a third book tapping at the door asking to be written?

Initially, I felt afraid because so much of my work in the last decade was met with tumbleweed. I wasn’t sure if it was that dreaded Algorithm Doom Gods of social media, or if I was talking to an audience of what felt like ghosts or deaf people (read: the wrong audience). I couldn’t tell you because despite my numerous attempts to connect with them, they remained eerily silent.

Did that mean I should stop writing? Nope. Definitely not.

There’s only so many times a girl is going to show up and offer her heart and soul, before she takes her energy somewhere it’s reciprocated. Okay, it took me ten years, but I am here now!

Maybe the tumbleweed was because I talk about things which are controversial. After a hard day’s work, you’re more inclined to watch videos of people doing silly dances, or cute puppies doing tricks, than learn about family estrangement. To be fair when faced with this particular type of heartbreak - which leaves you wondering how you’re going to make it through the loneliest and scariest times - you probably don’t want to share your deepest, darkest thoughts publicly on the internet.

Did that mean I should stop writing? Nope. Definitely not.

After a lifetime of feeling unseen, and unknown, it was time to bravely step forward and commit to my dream. To prioritise my writing and put it out there for kindred souls that need to see it.

It was time to take back my voice from the fear and shame that had ruled me for so long and write….regardless of how it was received by others.

I must show up and write for me. For the past versions of me that didn’t have a voice. For the future version of me that will be so proud and glad that I did.

*Shuuttup shaming voice in my head that tells me I’m selfish!*

In fact after Beth’s Winter Writing Sanctuary, I was even more determined that 2024 was going to be the year I finally became a writer. Well, that was until the Universe had other ideas. The the plan was a little delayed. By seven months to be precise because my life had to change drastically before I could begin.

You don’t become a writer. You decide you are one, but in order to be one you must write. Every. Single. Day.

For instance, there was always something that would keep me from writing.

If I let it.

There were various dramas going on in my home and with my business. My whole world was crumbling around me, and it had to before the new me could emerge.

It will come as no great surprise that the most toxic of time stealers was social media. It played havoc with my nervous system. It was one of those on-off relationships where you stuck in a loop of breaking up and getting back together.

It was Substack that gave me the confidence to finally step away from the noise and the soulless scroll.

Finally, I’d found a place to share my words with people who weren’t just scrolling on through for laughs or to distract themselves from real life, but people who had time, and wanted to read what I had to say.

It was Substack that gave me hope that I could keep the dream alive.

Something else I remember Beth saying as we stepped into the magical energy portal of the Winter Writing Sanctuary:

‘Writing is medicine for ourselves and for other people.’

She’s right. Reading books and journaling (as well as a good trauma therapist) have been my constant companions on the way back home. Often a dark and rocky path, Beth’s encouraging voice showed up at exactly the right moment. Thank you Beth!

It was time to share my decades of lived experience and personal stories. I’ve read countless books, written journals full of insights and learnings, attended courses, created courses, twisted myself into a pretzel on a yoga mat, danced my shame away, painted my anger. I made a promise to myself: to heal my mind body and soul (all whilst coaching and supporting others).

Creativity is the way. It’s the way through the pain and it’s how to make sense of it.

I have experienced first hand the power of reading other people’s words as medicine. The validation, the understanding, the humanness, the empathy and compassion. This is glossed over on socials where there is a lack of genuine human connection, and pretty curated squares paint unachievable perfection.

Other people’s truths and lived experiences make us feel less alone, and they go a long way to feeling like we belong in the world. In the words of one of my lovely clients, Jo, who read my book, and took part in my inner child workshop:

"Seeing and listening to other peoples stories has been invaluable to me. I have ignored myself for years but hearing my story and emotional struggles through their words made it possible for me to see myself." 

So amongst the messiness of writing my third book, (the working title is currently The Cocoon), I invite you to join me. Some posts will be public, but whilst this is a living, breathing piece of work, most of it will be kept safe behind a paywall.

Who knows I may even publish it one day! More importantly, I hope my words will bring comfort, sometimes laughter and help make sense of the madness.

We’re all in this together!

Love

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