A crisis of confidence
How constructive feedback from my editor helped me connect to deep childhood wounds.
I was delighted to receive the final edits for my next book, Murder Most Mystic. Full of positive encouragement and praise, I pushed my editor for some constructive feedback. Eager to improve my writing, I confessed that I lacked confidence. She said:
“As for your writing, I love your style. The tone and energy of the writing is so easy to connect to. If I were to give constructive advice, I would say to slow down your dialogue. It tends to run fast, which can lose track of the speaker and doesn't allow space for the scene to integrate.”
Wow! This was gold! Immediately, I thought of a creative confidence workshop I used to run for kids called ‘The Secret Ingredients of Self-Confidence’.
[Side note: even though I don’t run it anymore, you’ll find many of its fun and fabulous creative exercises here.] 👇
At this workshop, I would ask the kids what their definition of confidence was. You might like to journal on that now. Does it surprise you that over the years, the same replies were repeatedly shared?
People who are confident are:
Too big for their boots
Show offs
Attention seekers
Embarrassing
Loud
Boastful
Full of themselves
“That’s NOT confidence!” I would tell them.
“That’s arrogance.”
“Arrogance is rooted in toxic shame and it comes from a place of superiority. Arrogance says you’re better than everybody else. Confidence, on the other hand has nothing to do with anybody else, and it definitely doesn’t shout. It comes from feeling comfortable in your own skin.”
It was in this moment that I realised what my confidence issue really was!